Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
