Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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