Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
