We won't sleep together?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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