is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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