party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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