She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
