RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
