Michael Bay diarrhea
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I believe in your delicious
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
