Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
