this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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