My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
