Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
