I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize