That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
