What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
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I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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