omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm passing your future prison.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.