Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
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I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus