I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.