K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize