I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.