so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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