Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
