As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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