she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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