Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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