Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
