Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
