his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years