I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony