Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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