No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A+ Viking dick
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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