idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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