I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I need a beard to bite.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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