told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
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How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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