looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
