do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
