I just saw a hot homeless man
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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