i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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