Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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