Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
