in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
