I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
