Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
