His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
