just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Girls should come with a carfax report
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize