I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
