You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
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Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
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Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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