I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
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Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
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We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.