he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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