I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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