yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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