please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
