she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
