So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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