we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
