he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
