Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
