Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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