the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
