school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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