i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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