Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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