Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
