my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
