grandma shit on top of the toilet
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize