I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
