Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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