He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
