Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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